


Goodbye, Grandfather

by halliver



Category: Tenet (2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26826568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halliver/pseuds/halliver
Summary: Sator wins. The world ceases to be. But the universe does not look kindly on paradoxes, and the story goes on.
Relationships: Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 152





	Goodbye, Grandfather

The battle of Stalsk-12 rages on, forwards and backwards, explosions and implosions shaking the ground under David’s feet. He runs through the hallways of the bunker, doing his best to ignore the bodies littering the floor. None of it mattered now, it was not the time for grief.

When Ives takes a shrapnel from an explosion into his neck, David’s confidence goes crashing down, but the determination is still there.

“Come on cowboy, there is still a world for you to save”, he says, and then, he is gone.

David is not alone for long. One of Sator’s men attacks him, with a determined grimace on his face. Before David has time to react, the soldier’s face disappears into a bloody explosion.

“I thought you might need a hand”, Neil greets him with a smile, and David’s hear melts with relief, as at least someone he cares about is still alive. The presence of Neil by his side brings David a new level of focus. One more reason to fight for, not that he was ready to admit that to himself yet. They reach the centre of the complex, find the algorithm, prepare to take the doomsday device apart. All well, all according to plan.

A gunshot. Neil falls. Nothing makes sense anymore.

David wants to say goodbye, he wants to apologize, but no one will hear those tearful words. The bullet was aimed perfectly, between his eyes – Neil was dead before he hit the floor.

Without hesitation, David snaps the neck of the assailant. The adrenaline kicks in. He storms through the door separating him from the algorithm and stretches his arm to grab the device. His fingertips brush the metallic case. Mahir’s voice rings in his ear.

“He killed her! He took the pill!”

A bright flash of light, brighter than anything David has seen before. Then, there is nothing.

\--

The first thing David hears is classical music. _Bach_ , part of his brain tells him. _There’s Bach in afterlife?_ another part wonders. As consciousness slowly seeps back into his body, he finds the courage to open his eyes – carefully, preparing for a fight, but also afraid of what he will be greeted by. He sees bright lights, a concrete ceiling, hundreds of people. The realization dawns on him: it’s the Kiev Opera House. He glances his watch. There it is, the date he was so afraid to see. _It’s the beginning all over again._

David reaches for his gun, until he realizes that he is unarmed, dressed in a form-fitting black suit. “Think”, he mutters under his breath. The orchestra is playing. _Why_ is the orchestra playing? Shouldn’t the attack have already started? Shouldn’t those instruments be crashed under the feet of the assailants? But nothing happens, the concert goes on, and despite all his training, David has no idea what to do.

\--

The attack did not occur, neither did a 747 crash to a wall in Oslo, nor was there any sign of highway robbery in Tallinn.

He is once again looking for answers, but this time, he knows where to start. He books a flight to Mumbai, breaks into the Singh residence, and puts a gun against Sanjay’s head.

“Surely we can reach an agreement”, Priya says, and David crosses his hands.

“I thought such deals would go against the tenet of an arms dealer.”

The answer is another punch in his gut. “A poetic assassin. Unexpected.”

Priya, as deceivingly polite as always, offers him a cup of tea.

“I have questions about Andrei Sator.”

Priya sips her tea. “What about him?”

“You’ve sold guns to him, have you not? Ammunition, at least.”

“Maybe I have.”

“Are you still doing that?”

Priya laughs, a joyless chuckle. She shakes her head and gracefully puts her cup down.

“That, my dear, would be rather difficult, given that he is dead.”  
David feels dizzy. “A deal gone wrong?”

“Nothing as dramatic, I’m afraid. Cancer. A couple of months ago.”

\--

The events of Mumbai are repeated all over the world. No matter how hard David looks, there is no sign of Tenet. No sign of any temporal conflict.

Kat has Max and Max has Kat, the death of Sator freeing them both. David watches them from afar, not daring to intervene with their happy ever after.

Wheeler’s name is not Wheeler. Dr. Juliet Norman works at an emergency room in New York, and has never been approached by any mysterious organizations. She doesn’t know how to handle a gun, not really, but she is an excellent doctor. David wonders how many lives did Tenet turn around. Would have turned around.

He finds Ives, alive and well, living his life in British army. There is a faint scar in his neck, that makes David’s head spin a little. Ives does not recognize him, but he is polite to the man he believes to be an American naval officer. David considers asking Ives for help, but he understands that in this universe, he would sound like a madman. He wonders if he really is one.

He wants to find Neil. But the more he meets his old colleagues, the more familiar eyes gaze at him without a sign of recognition, the more he fears seeing the same emotional emptiness in Neil’s blue eyes. After bidding farewell to a rather uninterested Mahir, David gives up. He still does not know what happened, how he ended up in this linear, ordinary world, and he is not sure if he cares anymore.

\--

Months pass by. David settles down in Düsseldorf, in a peaceful apartment overlooking the Rhine. He accepts that the world is not ending. He spends his time reading, studying, finding comfort in learning, understanding, making sense of the world around him. Sometimes, he wonders if this is heaven, or hell. Maybe purgatory, as he cannot shake the feeling that he is still waiting for something, or someone.

A snowstorm is raging outside. David huddles inside his apartment, rifling through “ _Journal of Theoretical Physics”._ He doesn’t really understand the articles, but he finds comfort in them. He flips the page. The headline catches his attention, ignites his curiosity. _Anomalous readings from Russia might indicate an unknown quantum phenomenon, CERN scientist suggest._ No more tired in the slightest, David reads the article over and over again. The article describes seismological interference recorded where Stalsk-12 was. Same day, the scientists had run tests with the Large Hadron Collider, and the results were unlike anything they had seen. “It might even be an entirely new elementary particle – or an old one, in an energy state previously unknown. The possibilities are endless”, one of the scientists states, and David feels a flame burning inside him. He knows he must find the scientist, Dr. Reynolds. For the first time since waking up in Kiev, he feels like the answers he’s looking for might truly be out there.

\--

David arrives in Geneva late Friday afternoon. It’s almost Christmas, the city is filled with people, lights, Christmas markets, but David ignores it all. He cannot remember the last time he was this nervous. He makes his way to a tram, goes through his story in his head. _Thank you for agreeing to see me with such a short notice. I am a postdoc researcher at Technische Universität München, studying the entropy of elemental particles… Shit, why did I choose Munich? It’s too close, what if he or someone he knows is from that university?_ He fiddles with his watch. _I could claim to be in exchange, though. Maybe from Chalmers? No, I don’t speak Swedish. Shit. Shit. Shit. MIT?_ Deep in his thoughts, he almost misses his stop.

The massive research complex is surprisingly quiet. David finds a lone security officer sitting in the reception.

“Excuse me? I am here to meet Dr. Reynolds, where can I find his office?”

The guard lifts his gaze from his book and points upwards. “Third floor, turn left from elevator. Should be easy enough to find, he is usually the last one there.”

David nods, thanks the guard and heads for the elevator. As he presses the button, his hands shake a little, and he feels embarrassed for being so nervous.

The guard was right. Reynold’s door was the only one open, the rest of the hallway dark and quiet. David knocks the door frame, and starts his speech “Dr. Reynolds, thank you for agr…”

As the man sitting at the desk raises his head, David forgets his speech, forgets how to speak, and he feels the intense need to run away.

It’s Neil.

Of course it is Neil.

Who else was he expecting?

It’s _Neil._

His hair is longer than it used to be, messier. He is thinner, less muscular than David remembers him being. He is wearing large metal frame glasses, a grey sweater with a white dress shirt and a blue tie underneath. He’s not the same Neil David knew, not exactly, but he is Neil, he is alive, he is safe. He stands up, offers his hand to David and smiles. That warm smile David hadn’t admitted missing, but seeing it now made him want to cry

.

“You must be Dr. Bennett! I’m Neil, Neil Reynolds. It’s such a pleasure to meet you, I must admit I don’t get inquiries about my work that often.”

David shakes his hand, still speechless. Neil does not recognize him, but there is no coldness in his eyes. “I… Yes, I…”

“Please, sit down. Are you okay? You seem a bit… dizzy?”

David sits down, gathers himself, and smiles. “No, I am fine. I’m sorry. It has been a long day, that’s all. A long journey to get here.”

Neil smiles, offers him a glass of water, which he gratefully accepts. “So, you’re from professor Schröder’s group? I read his article from last month. Good stuff.”

_Fuck. Of course._

David nods. “Yes, though I haven’t worked for him for long. I am more interested in your work, Dr. Reynolds.”

“Please, call me Neil.”

“David.”

Neil smiles again. _Why must he smile so much?_

“I am quite flattered, David. My thesis supervisor used to think that I am throwing my academic career to a trash can with my theories, that they were too farfetched. She is not alone with her opinion, but I am hopeful that the data from Russia might support my hypothesis.”

“Stalsk-12?” David asks, cautiously.

“Hmm? Yeah, I guess, that’s what the area used to be called. Most people think it was just a simple earthquake.”

“But you disagree.”

“You are here. Would I be wrong to assume that you do, too?”

David laughs, shaking his head. “No, you would not be. I am here to hear what you think.”

“I think that this is evidence of something massive. I think that dark matter might have an even larger role in our universe than we think. It exists here, it exists in the parallel universes, flowing through it all. I think that it is a glue that keeps everything there is together. And I think that something tried to rip everything apart. A bomb that went off, and then didn’t – all the weird readings are remnants of the universe trying to stich itself back together.”

Neil stops, blushes, and glances down. “I am sorry. I got carried away. You must think I am insane. Everyone else does.”

David studies Neil’s face. Wonders how on earth he figured it out. _Should I tell him? Would it be cruel to drag him back into the world that killed him once?_ An impossible decision. He sees the embarrassment in Neil’s eyes. _No one listens to him, not really. No one truly appreciates his brilliance._ Anger surges through David’s mind, then determination. He doesn’t think, he acts.

“I know what happened in Russia.”

It takes him hours, but he tells Neil everything. Neil just sits there, head tilted, listening. David tells him about Tenet, about inversion, Sators plans, and finally, quietly, about Neil’s death and the end of the world. When he is finished with his story, it’s almost midnight, and Neil looks even paler than before. He fiddles with his tie, lost deep in his thoughts.

Finally, he breaks the silence. “This technology, it’s from future, right?”

“Yes. From how far, we don’t know exactly, but I guess at least a couple of centuries.”

Neil nods absentmindedly. “It’s a paradox. It’s the grandfather paradox.”

“So you told me. The other you, I guess.”

Neil bursts into laughter. He laughs long and hard, so long that David starts to get anxious.

“That would do it, wouldn’t it? A paradox massive enough to rip through time and space.”

“You really believe me?”

“Of course not. It’s ridiculous.” Neil shakes his head, takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. “I don’t have to, though. ‘ _Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away_.’ And I don’t believe in it, yet, it fits the evidence, it is still there.”

“Reality.”

“Whatever that means.”

Neil ends up pacing around his office for an hour or two more, ranting about quantum mechanics, the universe and _that fucking reality._ Every now and then he asks a question, which David answers to his best ability. Then, he goes back to crafting his theories, trying to make sense of the mysteries of the universe. Finally, he slumps down to his chair and closes his eyes. “I think that’s enough for today. I’m tired. I don’t think I can think anymore.”

David stands up and puts on his coat. “See you tomorrow?” he asks hopefully.

Neil looks at him, with a sad look in his eyes. “Please don’t go. I need to see you, to know that you are real. That this isn’t just a dream, or a hallucination.”

David nods. “Let’s take you home, then.”

\--

The sun shines through the curtains to Neil’s apartment. It’s small, dusty and filled with books, papers and empty cups. Yesterday, when arriving to Geneva, David had only hoped to find some answers. Not even in his wildest dreams did he expect to wake up in a bed next to the man he had spent almost a year grieving. But there Neil was, snoring lightly with a content expression on his relaxed face. David resists the urge to pet his blonde hair, and instead, runs his fingers through the fur of Neil’s cat, who had decided to make David’s lap her home.

The smell of fresh coffee fills the apartment. Neil sits on his sofa, sipping his drink.

“You are still here”, he says quietly.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No. I just thought…”

“That I wasn’t real?”

Neil nods.

“Why?”

“You appear in my office, tell me that my theories make sense, that I haven’t wasted my life researching something that doesn’t exist. You listen to me, like you are interested in what I say. You take me home and stay. You look at me like that, like I, like I, I mean something to you.” Another sip of coffee, and he continues. “Things like that don’t really happen to me. I am adequate. Average. Not interesting. Not important. You are the man that saves the world, and you look at me like I matter. You not being real is just the logical conclusion.” There is no emotion in Neil’s voice. He isn’t asking, he is stating his truth.

Once again anger fills David, anger at the world for treating Neil so wrong that he is more willing to accept the concept of a time traveling intelligence agency than the idea of someone caring about him.

“You matter. More than you could ever imagine.”

Neil smiles shyly and hides his face behind his mug. “… Thank you.”

\--

“You don’t remember me, right? You remember none of it?”

Neil raises his gaze from the soup David convinced him to order after finding out that Neil’s diet consisted mostly of coffee and salt crackers.

“No, I am sorry. I try to. But I don’t think it ever happened to me.”

“I found Ives, the soldier I mentioned.” David waits the waiter to pass their table before continuing. “And some others, Wheeler, Priya. None of them remember. But I do. Why?”

Neil shrugged. “I don’t know. But if I had to guess, it’s because you were closest to the epicentre of the explosion, implosion, whatever.” Neil waived is hand. “Perhaps the universe was destroyed, and then reassembled around you. You are the fixed point between the old world and the new one.”

“Would it work like that?”

“Maybe? The future trying to destroy the past causes a paradox. Paradoxes are, by their nature, impossible. I guess when something impossible happens, the universe works its ass off to fix it. Or maybe this isn’t your original universe at all, but an alternative one, and you were launched here by the force of the apocalypse happening right next to you.”

“But there’s no way of knowing, for sure.”

“Not really, no. You just have to believe. Or not think about it too hard. That might also be a solution.”

“But you are going to think about it, right?”

“I’m afraid overthinking is a bit of an occupational hazard for me.”

They walk home from the restaurant in silence. It’s snowing, again, and David wonders how beautiful Neil looks with snowflakes in his hair. Without saying a word, he takes Neil’s hand in his own. Neil stops, stares at David with sorrowful eyes.

“You do realize that there is a very real change that I am not your Neil. I will never be him.”

David smiles, brushes a tear from Neil’s cheek away with his thumb.

“I don’t need you to be him. Should I be lucky enough to have you, you are all I want.”

There it is again, that smile, and David feels intense gratitude for the unknown laws of the universe that brought him here.

And allowed him to press a soft kiss on Neil’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Tenet has been living in my head rent free for a month now, and I needed an outlet for all my feelings. 
> 
> English is not my native language, so I apologize for all the mistakes. I also apologize for the horrible horrible physics-related hand waiving in this fic.


End file.
